Yes. I have become a Christian. I believe in God. I study the Bible daily. I pray throughout the day. I play worship music at my local church. I take my children to church. I have joy in my heart, peace in my spirit, and conviction in my mind.
Those of you who followed my content during the time I semi-regularly posted, I have no doubt that you are disappointed reading this announcement. However, I request that you hear me out with an open mind, and (most importantly) an open heart. Search and audit yourself deeply, and give yourself an honest assessment of what you truly believe underneath the layers of your heart, mind, spirit (yes, you have one), education, reasoning, and professed knowledge (Psalm 139:23).
So, how did this happen?
Gradually. Over the course of about 10 years. However, the most important strides of my faith journey began about 7 years ago (just before I stopped posting on this blog). No single revelation or event put the spark in the powder keg, but there absolutely were pivotal moments of clarity during which the spokes of the wheel all pointed definitely and confidently toward the hub of the matter – I knew there was a God. And there was, and is, no escaping that fact.
Many of the arguments I put forth in this blog have either been cherry-picked straight out of the Bible (either without context, without giving a proper exposition of the Christian view on the matter, or with blatant disingenuous intentions), or directly influenced by what I was consuming from anti-theist authors, speakers, scientists, philosophers, and film-makers.
Admittedly, a few of the arguments still pose questions to my faith that I haven’t fully answered yet, but those are ancillary to the core of my belief. I can no longer “throw the baby out with the bathwater” simply because some questions remain, because the baby is so precious, true, and right. All areas of study (cosmology, sociology, psychology, etc) have quandaries, dilemmas, or problems for which we seek understanding. However; as my faith-walk progresses, these “problematic” questions are being answered, and a more complete understanding is emerging. I am thankful for my inquisitiveness in the areas of science in which I had previously searched to disprove God’s existence, as those areas of understanding have been integral in affirming the opposite – pointing directly to a very real Creator.
As a side note: Much of the “research” I did for the posts on this blog ended up influencing me later on to believe the very things I was attempting to disprove – especially once I began to understand the scientific and social/cultural topics more deeply. Whether it was a podcast, debate, book, and, most impactful, spending time reading the Bible in order to cite passages that I was attempting to ridicule (which kept my nose in Scripture, ironically), I inadvertently knocked down my own arguments over time. And, became a bit embarrassed of my sophomoric arrogance and condescension. (“Professing to be wise, I became a fool.”)
I am starting a new blog at ArgumentsForGod.com (domain should be active in August 2022) where I will write short posts on a variety of topics, letters, and also a direct refutation of the posts in this blog. Essentially, I’ll be arguing against myself – and in the process I will share how my views over time shifted, how the forces within my personal life and the forces coming from the outside (society, culture, the world) made it impossible for me to suppress the truth any longer. What was the truth that became clear, the knowledge that I was so exhaustingly suppressing? “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.”
P.S. – An Apology
(Assuming this blog accomplished, even in the smallest part for one person, the goal for which it was created…)
To you whom may have been swayed from your belief by the content on this blog,
To you whom were encouraged to embrace the despair, meaninglessness, and hopelessness of Nihilism,
Or to you whom became strengthened in your unbelief and emboldened in your resentment and anger towards God (or the sinful person who has unrightfully stolen the true God from you, the person who has become the “toxic representative” for God in your mind due to toxic religion or spiritual abuse),
Or to you whom read my blog and left with the blissful anticipation of wielding a new argument-hammer to smash the faith of your favorite theological punching bag (maybe your Dad? Mom? Social media rival? Pastor? That Person Who Isn’t Even Present And You Argue Against In Your Head All Of The Time?),
Or to you whom read with that pacifying catharsis and the intoxicating power-high of sitting in the judgement seat, finally, for once –
I apologize. I have made your life worse.
I have encouraged your bitterness against God and/or your family and friends, and actively separated you from the very source of healing for that bitterness. I selfishly spread my own resentment, anger, and inflicted my pungent, odious, repulsive, and self-righteous attitude onto you. I pointed you away from knowing the one true God of peace, truth, wisdom, right-ness, balance, and the resulting spiritual blessings of contentment and deep happiness.
Please forgive me, and stay tuned for new blog posts that will edify you and point you away from the darkness of nihilism, and toward the light of life, of healing, and abundant spiritual wholeness.
